May 29 2025
I write this just as I've finished my last day of school. My freshman year is done.
It feels... weird. Like, so much has happened, but also not really. So much is going to change, but not really. I'm not one to fear change. I don't necessarily like it, but I understand it's going to happen. I do go through the motions though. And right now I am very much so going through the motions.
I've learned so much about myself and had experiences I didn't think I could have and now I'm supposed to go back to normal. I'm not in my dorm, I'm in my house. I'm not with my roommates, I'm with my family. I won't be doing another assignment, I'll be applying to jobs, playing games, reading gay manhwa. It's so strange! But this is all my life. And again, it's pretty weird.

May 21 2025
I am almost done with school! And I have been on three film sets in the past month!! Tbf, they were all student films, but they were all upperclassmen so it felt professional! But being on my last set made me realize: I wanna be a gaffer. It's not just because setting up lights is fun and good lighting elevates a film's cinematography. It's also because the gaffer I was working with WAS SO COOL. Like, I'm a freshman and he was a senior so there's already that gap of knowledge and experience. But then, he was SO NICE. Like I'm a lil freshman, I don't know the difference between combo stands and c-stands, but he was so patient and nice (-_-') ON TOP OF THAT, (and not to sound like a weirdo, it's gender envy) but he was muscular and tall T-T Like, hello?? That's supposed to be ME (and it will be, trust)

December 8 2024
i don't know if i like Jayce (from Arcane) or if season 2 him just gives me extreme gender envy

November 22 2024
we got them to move!!

August 8 2024
i feel muderous intent. why won't these images fucking move